I have lot of respect and belief in Indian arranged marriages. In my family a girl has to go for arrange marriage, we are not supposed to even think of considering a guy for marriage by ourselves whatever might be the reason. There is nothing like, if the girl likes a boy, parents never say, lets meet the boy and then decide. Thats how all girls are pushed to this so called arranged marriage and they are allowed to talk to him/her only after engagement and roam with, only after marriage. Quiet understandable if you are an Indian.
I have seen happy marriages be it my parents or our uncles and aunts, whatever happens, they adjust and live together. I wondered why? I think its because women just bear all the pains and humiliations and its so common in Indian society that girls parents will just say to their girl "Its common, you should adjust. he is afterall husband" Seriously?. One of my cousin recently called up her parents,little upset, saying her mother-in-law was abusing her physically and torturing mentally. Small issues,she will project it as huge and will complain to her son. eg. Eating before husband or Mother in law eats, taking a small nap in afternoons its all considered to be insulting for them. Taunts would be like, my son would have got a better bride, he ended up with you, you didnt get enough dowry, you didnt give a kid to this house, remember kid means BOY, you should not even think of Girl. Which generation are we living in?
One more case I heard the girl got a govt job and she is earning well in a small town, good enough to live luxurily in a town. There were people who were behind her,she was just 22yrs, (right for marriage but still) and she got married. Now not even a year, she is carying and her husband is having another women in his life far from the town and he visits her frequently. Girls parents know this and they are hiding it from their girl, because at this stage its not good to tell this to her.Can you believe the guys mother knowingly spoilt the daughter in law's life. You question them, they say "He is a guy, you should know how to keep him in wraps. If he is visiting other women, there should be some problem with the girl".Wow..Unbelievable. I think she would have stayed single with her own earning rather than fall for wrong person in her life.
Parents might tell hundred times to "Adjust" when their girl child complaints this. But is it really what they mean ? Anyone can feel the pain what a mother goes when her daughter is suffering and why cant the mother-in-law see this? All they want is a girl to be like a maid, cook and a lady to keep her son happy? Why dont people come out and speak up their problems?
If all these issues are very common, why do we still go for arranged marriage? For a girl, arranged marriage is like a security where they feel their parents have certified the family they can live happily with the man they choose. Is it really so? When will people come out of this belief and start raising their voice against these issues and speak up openely about the domestic violence they face, fearlessly. Is there any end for this ?If so how many light years a women has to wait for this to happen??
Disclaimer: Guys! No offense please.
I have seen happy marriages be it my parents or our uncles and aunts, whatever happens, they adjust and live together. I wondered why? I think its because women just bear all the pains and humiliations and its so common in Indian society that girls parents will just say to their girl "Its common, you should adjust. he is afterall husband" Seriously?. One of my cousin recently called up her parents,little upset, saying her mother-in-law was abusing her physically and torturing mentally. Small issues,she will project it as huge and will complain to her son. eg. Eating before husband or Mother in law eats, taking a small nap in afternoons its all considered to be insulting for them. Taunts would be like, my son would have got a better bride, he ended up with you, you didnt get enough dowry, you didnt give a kid to this house, remember kid means BOY, you should not even think of Girl. Which generation are we living in?
One more case I heard the girl got a govt job and she is earning well in a small town, good enough to live luxurily in a town. There were people who were behind her,she was just 22yrs, (right for marriage but still) and she got married. Now not even a year, she is carying and her husband is having another women in his life far from the town and he visits her frequently. Girls parents know this and they are hiding it from their girl, because at this stage its not good to tell this to her.Can you believe the guys mother knowingly spoilt the daughter in law's life. You question them, they say "He is a guy, you should know how to keep him in wraps. If he is visiting other women, there should be some problem with the girl".Wow..Unbelievable. I think she would have stayed single with her own earning rather than fall for wrong person in her life.
Parents might tell hundred times to "Adjust" when their girl child complaints this. But is it really what they mean ? Anyone can feel the pain what a mother goes when her daughter is suffering and why cant the mother-in-law see this? All they want is a girl to be like a maid, cook and a lady to keep her son happy? Why dont people come out and speak up their problems?
If all these issues are very common, why do we still go for arranged marriage? For a girl, arranged marriage is like a security where they feel their parents have certified the family they can live happily with the man they choose. Is it really so? When will people come out of this belief and start raising their voice against these issues and speak up openely about the domestic violence they face, fearlessly. Is there any end for this ?If so how many light years a women has to wait for this to happen??
Disclaimer: Guys! No offense please.
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